I create a buzz.
A real buzz.
An almighty buzz.
The buzz of Colonel Aldrin.
In a statically charged nylon shellsuit.
Fleeing from a thousand angry wasps.
On his Vespa.
Social media and virals. They’re what I do. I, Andrew George Burnett, am an unashamed gossipmonger for the digital age. I seed discussions. I get people talking. But talking about what? Here’s a rough but impeccably alphabetised list: brands, events, iPhone apps, products, services, towns, videos and websites. Pretty much anything really.
10,000,000 (ten freakin’ million) extra hits.
One of the many possible consequences of my work is that traffic is driven to my clients’ websites. Well, guess how many extra hits I helped to generate for one of my clients last year.
Go on, guess.
Yes! 10 million. How did you…? Oh. Damn my suspense-destroying subheading.
The lovely beneficiaries of my unassuming awesomeness.
I ply my trade for a diverse collection of businesses. At one extreme, there are the one-man bands. And at the other, there are the big corporations; the ones with private armies and missile silos hidden inside extinct volcanoes on Pacific islands.
You want names?
My happy customers include AOL, Shortlist Media, Channel4, Blonde, DigitalGoldfish and Gothenburg Symphony Orchestra.
I have no grumpy customers.